After two huge losses in Iowa and New Hampshire, Rudy Giuliani (or 9iu11ani, as it has been suggested) is behind Duncan Hunter (who?) by one delegate, meaning that he has zero delegates so far. But don’t worry Rudy supporters. You’ve got enough to worry about, what with a “people perverted” and all. The current Republican leader is Mike Huckabee who has a total of 31 delegates, just 1,160 short of the number needed to win the GOP nomination. Basically, there’s a lot of time left for Rudy to catch up, although he’ll probably have to start from ground zero.

Where do sports intersect with Rudy’s campaign? Fox News. Apparently Rudy Giuliani refused to sign somebody’s Green Bay Packers hat while he was pressing the flesh in Punta Gorda, Florida. He signed a New York Giants hat, but refused to do so for a Packers fan, claiming that it would be bad luck, as the Giants are set to play the Packers in the NFL playoffs this weekend. First off, everybody knows that the votes in Florida have already been determined. Second, Punta Gorda means “fat end” in Spanish.