Mitt Romney, Governor Massachusetts (R)

Football: New England Patriots
Baseball: Boston Red Sox
Basketball: Boston Celtics
Sport to Play: Jogging
Other: CEO of the 2002 Winter Olympics in Utah

Analysis: Mitt Romney had a famous moment in a debate where he out-sportsed a known baseball nut, Rudy Giuliani. Rudy was asked why he decided to root for the Boston Red Sox in the last World Series, considering he’s one of the most famous Yankees fans in the universe. The Massachusetts governor moved quickly to capitalize on the Mayor’s taboo flip-flop, opining about the suffering and celebration of die-hard Sox fans, a direct contrast to the apparent bandwaggoning of Giuliani. Said Romney:

“Eighty-seven long years. We waited 87 long years. And true suffering Red Sox fans that my family and I are – we could not have been more happy than to see the Red Sox win the World Series, except by being able to beat the Yankees when they were ahead three games to none. And so, I have to tell you that like most Americans, we love our sports teams and we hate the Yankees.”

Although most New England sports fans know that Mitt would look as out of place shouting a Mass-hole opinion about Wakefield’s release between gulps of Sam Adams at a Southie baah as he would putting a cube of sugar in caffeinated coffee, underwearless, Mitt was able to win Team Loyalty Guy votes away from Mr. Team Loyalty. It would be like “Hollywood” Fred Thompson convincing America that he had has sacrificed more for his country than John “Hanoi Hilton” McCain.

Or for a less political analogy, it would be like Boba Fett losing a blaster duel with R2-D2. Scoff! (snort!) Like, totally improbable.